Abomination of Hyne
by Jay2
Summary: They were at the top, now they're robbin' trains. Two rebels. One mission. 3 SeeDs. (a few hairs short of an interactive fic.)
1. Rebels without a cause Yeah, right

Abomination of Hyne  
  
  
A/N: Part of this chapter is in some way or another almost a parody of a scene from a certain movie. Can you guess which one? Also, who these two main characters are will be revealed to you later. Just wait, you greedy pigs.  
  
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII is property of SquareSoft. This work of fiction is mildy original, and it would seriously annoy me if this piece were copied in any way.   
  
  
They were two washed up old men, that's for sure.  
  
"I don't believe we're stuck in this town again," the taller man had said, "I mean, we were at the top and now look at us. Stuck in a grimy hotel with no one for company but a card player who thinks she's all that."  
  
"SHE IS ALL THAT. SHE TOOK MY COCKATRICE CARD WITH ONE OF THOSE FANCY COMBO'S!" the other, smaller man protested. "She cheated. All those combo's and same--"  
  
"That's not the point."  
  
"...She is a good player... " He looked down at his feet. "Then what is the point?"  
  
The two were sitting at a table down in the bar area to Deling City's hotel, which was in no way grimy. Maybe it was... really. After seventeen years it still has the same paint, upholstry, and the same woman still worked at the main desk.  
  
After a brief conversation, the taller man, hereby referred to as Man #1, stood up and walked away from the other man, hereby referred to as Man #2. Man #2 sat in a state of shock: his mouth hung open as if he had just seen an old rag spontaniously combust after watching it for two weeks. Well, maybe that was a bad example....  
  
I'd never thought of that, he thought, but it makes perfect sense. He stood up, tucked the magazine he had been reading under his arm, and followed Man #1 up the stairs to the lobby of the Deling City Hotel.  
  
Man #1 handed him a hankerchief, and he placed it over his mouth and nose, tying a knot in the back. Man #1 did the same. They quickly-- well actually, they missed at their first attempt and then had to try once more -- pulled out their small pistols.  
  
"THIS IS A STICK UP! DON'T NOBODY MOVE AND EVERYONE GETS HURT!" Man #2 yelled.  
  
"....." was all that man number one, astounded at what his partner had just said., could say.  
  
Immediately, everyone jumped up and ran, except for two men who happened to be Galbadia's finest soldiers.  
  
"... Everyone ran away. NOW WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GET MONEY?! THIS HOTEL ONLY CHARGES 100 GIL PER PERSON. YOU THINK THEY HAVE A LOT OF MONEY AT THE DESK?!?.... YOU IDIOT!"   
  
Man #1 took a swing at #2 with his pistol, but missed and the pistol flew out of his hand. As he bent down to pick it up, he felt a sharp pain in his gut. He coughed, and looked up to see his partner falling to the ground after being hammered by one of Galbadia's Finest Soldiers. He instantly knew that the same was happening to him.  
  
"... I knew this was a bad idea. HOTELS WHERE THE MILITARY USUALLY STAY ARE NOT A GOOD PLACE TO--" Man #2 was cut short as an elbow collided with his skull. The room swirled above him and went black for a while.  
  
They awoke in what seemed to be a truck. A Galbadian Military truck no doubt, and they were driving through the desert. But the D-District Prison was used for resistance to the government, not small felonies. Weird. The two men looked at eachother and winked.  
  
An intense battle then ensued between the Finest and the old, washed up men. Since the two men are the protagonists of this story, they of course won even though the odds were against them. Thank Hyne Man #2 hit his Limit Break or else they'd of been dead. You aren't buying that, are you? Nope. Didn't think so.  
  
Actually, with his quick, cat-like reflexes, Man #1 gave them each quick chops to the neck and took control of the car. ?! You don't believe that either. You people are very hard to please.  
  
To make a long story short, our heroes prevailed against the greatest of odds, and now are the proud owners of a Galbadian Military truck. Let us all take a moment out of our lives to congratulate them.  
  
They drove through the desert, without a destination, their hair-- what was left of it -- blowing in the wind, all precautions thrown aside. They were rebels, and it felt good.  
  
"Just rebels..! Without a cause!" #2 tried to sing; though he failed in making nice music and prevailed in imitating a dying BiteBug.  
  
"Would you.. PLEASE, stop singing that damned song?!" #1 couldn't help but scream. Hell, I would too if my ears were bleeding like that.   
  
So they drove through the desert. No destination. They were just rebels. Bad to the bone. Hard to the core. They had robbed a hotel, they had beat up the finest of the fine. They couldn't help but radiate with arrogance. They turned a corner around a large rock formation; a train station could be seen in the distance. Great, they thought, a chance to get themselves known.  
  
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A/N: Know what I was trying to parody yet? And, isn't it just annoying the heck out of you not knowing who the heroes are? Don't worry, you'll find out soon. Or maybe you can guess. 


	2. Pithy and Cliff?

A/N: Here I am again. Thanks for the nice reviews. Sorry if there was a small delay in getting this posted. FF.net was closed for a day, and I've been sick. But I'm here, and I hope to have two chapters out real soon.  
  
Disclaimer: Didn't you read chapter one? ---------- They were two washed up, senile old men.  
  
"So... what are we going to do when we hijack the train?" Man #2 asked, stupidly.  
  
"Well uhh.. Umm. Hey! We need manly, tough names to use when we become famous train robbers!" #1 quickly changed the subject. "I'm using 'Cliff', how about you?"  
  
"Cliff? HAH! Sounds like a dog's name. Well. For my name... um.. "  
  
"Umm.."  
  
"Umm....."  
  
"This'll be a while." Cliff sat down on a bench at the train station. It was a small station, and one train had been sitting in front of a few benches with some people scattered around them.  
  
"Ummmm.."  
  
"Ummm..."  
  
"OH! OH! I got it. PITHY!"  
  
"...Pithy.." Cliff repeated. "That's not a name. That's not even a word! Besides, when you say it, does it strike fear in to the hearts of even the manliest of men and make them break down like little girls and wet themselves?!"  
  
"Er.. Well.."  
  
"Does it?!?!" Cliff yelled.  
  
"Well... No."  
  
"THEN WE'RE NOT USING IT. NOW, I'M NOT HIJACKING THAT TRAIN UNTIL YOU THINK OF A MANLY NAME TO GO BY. NOW SIT HERE AND THINK!!" Cliff's veins in his temples were pumping at an almost dangerous level.  
  
Some of the people waiting for their train gave him an awkward glance.  
  
"Umm. Well then.."  
  
"Umm.."  
  
"Mmmm..."  
  
"Let's see-- no. Umm.."  
  
"Er... Ahh.. Mmmmmmm...."  
  
"Umm.." Cliff layed down on the bench he had been on; this was going to take a while.  
  
"UMMMMMMM...... ...... I GOT IT!!!!!!" Cliff jumped up.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Get this.... PITHY!" he exclaimed.  
  
"That name.. is.. AWESOME! Why didn't you think of it before. Heh... Heh.. Let's go."  
  
They both stood up, and made their way towards the train. Dust specs blew into their faces as they went, and they tripped over rolling tumbleweeds. Damn, they hated the desert. After trudging through the mess, they had finally arrived by the train. At a first notice, the train was empty. Excellent.  
  
"Come on! Get in!" Cliff said.  
  
The two climbed into the train. They knew what they had to do. They didn't hesitate, or even break a sweat. They were pros. Atleast, that's what they thought. Pithy clenched his fists as he made his way into the engine room. He knew he'd probably be up for a fight, but he was suprised to find the room empty.  
  
"Cliff! Come on in. Hurry!" He called.  
  
Cliff entered and sat in the "pilot's" chair. Don't make fun of Cliff for not knowing what the driver of a train is called. DO YOU?! He looked around at all the fancy knobs, switches, levers, and buttons. He had a sensational urge to randomly press each button. Some say that natural urges are the hardest to hold back. Well, maybe somebody didn't say that. That isn't the point.  
  
The point is that he pressed all of these buttons, turned the knobs and switches, and pulled the levers. Lights flashed all different colors. Warnings of danger and doom flashed on a small moniter on the "dashboard."  
  
"DAMNIT! WE NEED A FIRE TO START THIS TRAIN, PITHY. COME ON!" He said, having to speak over the sirens and warnings.  
  
"Okay then. FIRAGA!" Random passerbys and people waiting to board the train witnessed a wonderful fireball explode out of the conductor's window on the train. Unfortunately, Cliff and Pithy were inside this particular part of the train. Fortunately though, the trains whistles started blowing and the wheels started turning.  
  
The train raced down the tracks at inimaginable speed. I wouldn't be suprised if some of the random people could hear a sonic boom.  
  
A stocky young man made his way to where Cliff and Pithy were.  
  
"Hey! YOU TWO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!" he yelled in an uncontrollable rage.  
  
".. Really, Cliff," Pithy said, "what ARE we going to do now that we have this train to ourself?"  
  
"No you don't! It's still our train!" no one paid attention to the man.  
  
"..Hmm." Cliff thought for a moment. "AHA! We can derail the train."  
  
"Are you just plain stupid?! We're INSIDE the train, that will most certainly kill us!!" Once again, no one listened.  
  
"I know JUST what to do then, Pithy," Cliff said raising his hand. "I can use this magic I picked up a while ago."  
  
The room dimmed, and sparks began to flash in green colors. The room darkened more, and it seemed to grow incredibly warmer. So the already burning heat of the desert was now rivalling the heat of the flames of Hell.  
  
"...... ULTIMA!!!!!!!!"  
  
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. MUWAHAHAHAHAHA. AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. A cliffhanger. Now you GOTTA read the next chapter. 


End file.
